Thursday, September 9, 2010
F.A.R.T.: The Movie (1991)
Directed By: Ray Etheridge
You know I can take a joke. I'm a funny guy (right?). But I've never been able to get my kicks out of fart jokes. And what we get with F.A.R.T.: The Movie is the ultimate fart joke. And what you get from that is about what you would think. It makes for a very long hour and a half, and it sadly brings nothing at all to the table. But I'm here to review it, tossing my horror credit out the window in the process.
Sooo...um, Russell likes to fart, and fat A LOT. He walks around and farts. He sits around and farts. And he actually keeps record of these farts. He's also with Heather, and she hates farting. So it's New Years Eve, Russell won't stop farting so Heather leaves him home and goes to a party alone. Russell sits home and keeps farting, and watches TV shows about farting....Yeah.
So basically the plot sums up this whole movie. There's not a ton one can say about a movie likes this but I'll try my best to give it a proper day in court with this review. If you're 5 or under, you may like this movie. If you have mental problems you may like this movie. If you have never touched a woman (or man) and live in your parents attic, you may just like this movie. Anyone else with a brain that works properly won't like this movie at all.
Also I feel the need to add that this movie looks like it's been filmed with one of those bulky black VHS recorder cameras everyone had back in the early 90's. Not that it matters, it wouldn't have helped if this thing was in such a glorious HD form that it put Avatar to shame, it wouldn't have helped one bit. It's a cheap look for a film with cheap humor to be honest with you. Most fart jokes run out of steam after 5 minutes, imagine what it's like to see one giant joke get stretched out for an hour and a half.
If you tied me up and forced me to find one thing about this movie that I liked I'd say the acting, believe it or not, is spot on. These people play it straight and in some cases knock the awful jokes out of the part in a performance stand point. How they did that I have no idea but they need a purple heart for it. Besides that, there isn't anything else. You probably won't like what you see. You may even have trouble finishing it. It's kind of like a kindergarten class on acid.
If you want this movie (and God help you if you do) you can find it at MVD which has this and tons of actually awesome movie titles at great prices. So don't hold this one against those guys, they have some great stuff. It's just that F.A.R.T.: The Movie isn't one of them.
The Rating (1.5/10)