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Friday, March 16, 2012

Changes Coming In The Next Few Days To Zombies Don't Run


I come to you all today bringing what I feel is very good news. I myself have always been a hater of change, but every now and again a change comes along that isn't so bad. And I believe the changes about to be made to Zombies DON'T Run are for the best or I wouldn't be doing them. 


If you access this site by the main address, www.zombiesdontrun.net (and I hope by now you would be) then you are fine and dandy. If you have this page booked market or access is by www.zombiesdontrun.blogspot.com then you need to please update that address. And the reason is, we are leaving blogspot. Don't get it wrong, blogspot is awesome and FREE and perfect for horror blogging or any other form of blogging you want to do. But at this point, I'm happy to report that Zombies DON'T Run has gotten big enough that the term "blog" is selling us short and our ever growing traffic numbers have made us decide it's time to move on to bigger and better things. That bigger and better thing has resulted in a new host for the site, a new and much better looking layout for the site, and these changes should be in full effect by early next week.


Rest a sure that outgrowing your environment is a very good thing when you are a horror site and everything you've enjoyed here will be making the jump with us as we get more organized and professional. EVERYTHING that is currently on this site WILL still be able to be found on the new site (and be found much easier). The podcast will take on a much more prominent role on the new format, and OF COURSE, Shannon and Cannibal Kitchen will be there and also be featured much more prominently. 


Blogspot was cool, but blogspot has it's limits, as I'm sure all of you know who use it. Now, with this new site and system, Zombies DON'T Run will have no limits. 


Thanks for your continued support and get ready for a new and improved Zombies DON'T Run
Chuck

ps: CHECK OUT MY RECENT MENTION IN THE WALL STREET JOURNAL.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

New Announcement from Shameless Screen Entertainment




SHAM301 SHAMELESS SEXPLOITATION

Time Approx 247 min + extras
18 - Contains strong sex, nudity, violence and sexual violence
Horror, Sex Sirens, Satanic rituals & Sci-fi monsters have never been so wild and depraved as they are in this BBFC-baiting, mind-frying, definitive collectors box-set of shameless sexploitation. Join Shameless in their celebration of unadulterated, adult-rated Sinema - featuring erstwhile-arthouse sex symbol Sirpa Lane, notorious porn-diva Marina Hedman and trash movie queen Mariangela Giordano, and adorned by extra footage previously only available in XXX versions.


Disc 1 – THE LOVE GODDESS OF THE CANNIBALS
“You’ll die of pleasure!”
When big business decides to build a nuclear reactor on ancestral Caribbean land, it’s up to Papaya, sex siren, Voodoo priestess and blood crazed Cannibal to seduce and kill those who threaten the ancient way of life of her People… Until she meets Sara (Sirpa Lane), a journalist hungry for a lead who’ll soon be sucked into a vortex of perverse, violent carnality and Sapphic lovemaking in this Eurocult classic from the wikedly dissolute mind of sleaze&sex-maestro Joe D’Amato.

Disc 2 – SATAN’S BABY DOLL

“WHEN THE DEVIL CALLS, SHE COMES … ”
Somewhere in a castle… a self-gratifying nun looks after delicious teen Baby-Doll and her wheel-chair bound brother and rounds off her duties with torrid sex with their mother, an insatiable nymphomaniac. This mundane debauched family atmosphere is shattered when Mum is murdered by her depraved, drug-addled, husband. Barely buried in the crypt, Mum’s evil spirit possesses teen who embarks on a frenzied rampage of incestuous sex and murder. In order to prevent the slaughter of all those who stand in the way of Satan’s Baby-Doll, the nun will commit the ultimate sacrilege…

Disc 3 – THE BEAST IN SPACE
“IN SPACE NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU COME!”
Sci-Fi has never been so wild and depraved as it is in this sex mad intergalactic saga starring Sirpa Lane who’d previously shocked the world in the notorious art-house porno THE BEAST. She now returns in this mind-warping “space-sequel” as a woman forced to submit to the carnal lusts of an horrific space monster in a movie which defines “Trash Cinema” in a riot of space disco insanity and Sci-fi oddness replete with eye scorching special effects, mind scrambling aliens, cunning stunts and twisted eroticism.

Special Features

- Shameless Rebuild with extra footage, previously only available in XXX version
- Alternate scenes comparisons
- Mariangela Giordano Bio adapted from Alan Jones & Mark Ashworth text
- Italian Audio with optional English Subtitles for Disc 2 & 3
- The artwork of this collectible edition has been exclusively created for Shameless by top British illustrator Rick Melton.

Shameless Sexploitation will be released on DVD by Shameless Screen Entertainment on 23 April 2012.

 From our exclusive feed with Cult Labs” linking back to the Cult Labs website - http://www.cult-labs.com

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Cannibal Kitchen: It's a bird, It's a plane...

It's Cannibal Kitchen: A Horror Lover's Cookbook, and it's for sale NOW!



I couldn't be more thrilled to announce that my cookbook is finished and ready to be yours. It's filled with home cooked craftiness, and it's paired with horror movie madness! Finally the wait is over, and this little piece of my heart can rest on the shelves of your kitchen.

The cookbook is currently available through my publisher's website, Twin Star Media, and within the next couple days it will be available through Amazon as well. If you are in Chicago and don't want to order online, within the next couple weeks, the book will also be found at some lovely local retail shops. Specific shops will be announced shortly.

So don't wait any longer, scope out the inner workings of my book, and purchase HERE.

As usual, thank you all for the continuous support. You're all the best! Enjoy.

Debauchery (1983)


Debauchery (1983)
Director: Hidehiro Ito
Where to get it: Synapse/Impulse/CAV


Celebrating 100 years of NIKKATSU PRODUCTIONS, Impulse Pictures is proud to present THE NIKKATSU EROTIC FILMS COLLECTION, a continuing series of critically acclaimed, classic “eroductions” designed to shock and titillate fans of erotic cinema. The sexy RyĆ“ko Watanabe stars as Ami, a jaded housewife who pitches herself, body and soul, into the Tokyo decadence of the decade in an attempt to pep up her marriage.  She secretly joins the elite “Madame Machiko Society Club” to experiment with discrete sex games and the thrill of making love to anonymous men.  The sexual perversion and sick depravity she is subjected to, by her clients, is much more than she bargained for.  Bondage, beads and whips are only the beginning!  Can she escape this secret life she has chosen, or will it destroy her forever?


On the surface one could be quick to jump to conclusions and write off Debauchery as just some soft-core sex movie. But that isn't entirely the case. Yes, the movie does pack some weird fetish and sex filled moments, but the movie also packs a very strong story that has a pull to it to draw the viewer in. And I do mean more than just the eye appealing sight of naked Asian women on the screen for the majority of the film. Which, if you couldn't already guess, doesn't hurt things at all either. Pretty soon the film dives into the weird and strange images that Asian cinema is known for, and it really becomes a sight to see. And I do mean that in a positive way.


One thing about this film, besides strong characters and strong plot that keeps you interested, is the film's overall look. Synapse, under their Impulse banner here, do what they always do and make an old film look outstanding. It might be hard to believe this is a film as old as the reviewer typing here as you watch, and that's a kudo to the company, they always deliver. And the movie delivers as well. From it's erotic nature to it's strange, yet fitting, ending. I don't think you'll have a thing to be uninterested in when this film is on your TV. If you like erotic films, you should probably love this one. It has what many of those lack, a solid plot.


(7/10)

Children of the Corn (1984) (Blu-ray Review)



Children of the Corn (1984)

Directed By: Fritz Kiersch
Where to get it: IMAGE



The Prologue

Some of Stephen King's most popular works seem to be stories that started out as short stories. Children of the Corn, is one of the more popular works of his you will find and in 1984 the film was made. The film was made by Fritz Kiersch, and it should be noted that King wasn't very pleased when his script for the film wasn't used. As a result, some things were changed and I'm sure fans of the book weren't too pleased with that. That being the case, people still really dig this film. Originally released on blu-ray under the Anchor Bay banner, it became one of the titles Image picked up and released under it's Midnight Madness Series. And it's more or less a win overall I think.



The Movie

A boy preacher named Isaac goes to a town in Nebraska called Gatlin and gets all the children to murder every adult in town. A young couple have a murder to report and they go to the nearest town (Gatlin) to seek help but the town seems deserted. They are soon trapped in Gatlin with little chance of getting out alive. What you get here is a really 70-ish feeling horror film from the 80s that packs some cool stuff for anyone who loves the work of Stephen King, even if King himself is a little mixed on it.


If you think kids are crazy today, you should see how the backwoods children of this town were in 1984. The film opens with a shocking enough opening, one that was probably more of a "OMG" moment in the 1980s and for people who had no clue what the book was about than it is for today, but it's still kinda cool. It's also cool to have kids running around with such epic names as, "Malachai" and "Isaac". Of course these types of names would roll along with the film's sequels, even if the overall quality didn't.


Also adding to the film's cool factor and acceptable acting is, Linda Hamilton. You may recall her as Sarah Conners from The Terminator films, but she's "Vicky" here and she does a find job. Maybe even more so than her co-star, Peter Horton. But the film's overall stars and selling points are the kids. And if you want a creepy kid, you sure have on with the character of, Isaac. In the long line of cinamatic kids that were weird and creepy, he has to be one of the best. And it really helps sell the movie. It also kinda helps you ignore the more slower portions of the film.


So the film has a few really cool moments, like people being ran over, that are memorable. It also packs some very cheesy effects moments that might stand out and catch your attention for all the wrong reasons, but they still do seem to have their own charming ways about them. But you can't deny the film does have good elements and people do love the film. Proof of that is in the endless amount of sequels that have followed this movie. Outside of perhaps part 2, I'd say this is the best entry of the franchise and rightfully so, it IS the original.


The Conclusion

The movie is a perfectly acceptable slice of 80s horror in my opinion. It does have some slow parts, but it also has some very cool moments as well. The blu-ray transfer looks it's best during the day scenes, but the nights aren't by any means shabby. The worst part of the transfer is the really grainy shots during some night scenes. Outside of that, there isn't a whole lot to complain about.


The Rating (7/10)    

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

#XOCPodcast #19 - "A day in the Life" with Steve Corino & Rob Dimension

XOC Podcast #19
"A Day in the Life"
The Extreme Odd Couple Podcast



 
This week, The King of Old School, Steve Corino and his trusty side-kick, Rob Dimension make their way to the MonsterMania Horror Convention in Cherry Hill, NJ, then head to ACW Pro Wrestling so Corino can face Jerry Lynn. The guys start podcasting at 7:30 am and don't stop til 12:30 am on Sunday.


Corino shares his "run in" with Darth Vader. They invite, Matt, a fan of the show who drove from Long Island just to talk to these two turds, to discuss what he likes. They have a discussion of Jerry Lynn, truly being the nicest guy in Wrestling and Worst jobs the guys ever had!


You guys are there for the day...enjoy! Don't forget, follow them on Twitter @SteveCorino and @RobDimension, also make sure you subscibe, rate and review the show! As always, visit http://www.xocpodcast.com/, http://www.worldofcorino.com/ & http://www.robdimension.com/ - plus, look for the XOC Podcast crew Live...you NEVER know where they will show up!




Don't forget - Get your #XOCPodcast T-shirts including the EXTREMELY Limited Monster-mania Exclusive Yellow T

Vamp (1986) (Blu-ray Review)

Looks better than it actually is.


Vamp (1986)

Directed By: Richard Wenk (Wishcraft)
Where to get it: IMAGE



The Prologue
When I first watched Vamp, I wasn't that impressed. It had it's perks, but it was a little too cute in some areas for my own personal taste. But since it got the blu-ray treatment from IMAGE and their Midnight Madness series, I figured it was worth another day in court, if for nothing else, just to see how the transfer looks. Now after having seen it, I think anyone who is a fan of Vamp, will be a big fan of this release. So if you love the film, take comfort in knowing you will be happy with this release. But if you still care, let me now pick my bone with this film.



The Movie
So two guys are trying their best to get into a college fraternity. One things leads to another and the next thing you know they grab a rich nerd and head off on the hunt for a stripper for a party. However, it turns out all they end up finding is trouble with albinos and um..oh yea..VAMPIRES!! I don't know about you but the albinos scare me a lot more. I mean come on, have you seen an albino in person? I hear they have no soul, but that neither here nor there with this film.


So what's with the love for this one, kids?? I mean it may be a bit of a trip down memory lane for some of you with it's 1986 date, but come on! I think one thing it does soo wrong right off the bat is you get the idea Robert Rusler, in the role of AJ, is going to be the lead, but he isn't. He's a much better actor and stronger character than the man who plays our lead, and who is a bit of a wussy. None the less, that was strike one for me. Strike two comes with our gang of albinos who run around in this vampire filled area. It makes no logical sense to me at all, but far be it for me to look for logic in an 80's horror movie (and I say this as a BIG fan of 80s horror). Also, the town has vampires and it has albinos, but you mean to tell me the cute blonde and the guy at the diner are the only normal folks in the whole damn town as well??


Strike three is our little Asian man with the money, who these two take along with them on their trip. He's suppose to be our comic relief but there's a problem, he isn't funny. It seems to be a common problem with this film, the characters don't properly fill their roles. The lead is a waste of time, the lead girl is cute but dumb, and the comic isn't funny. Oh and our lead Vampire, who is suppose to be just soo damn hot (played by Grace Jones) isn't at all hot either...But that's just my own personal taste and really is not important with my review of this movie overall.


But corny ending aside, if I'm to pick just something I like about this one, I'd say it has a nice look to it (a look that is made to look better with the HD transfer). I mean there's nothing else to really say. I think the film would have been a lot better had they went and snatched up a vampire stripper by mistake and brought them back to the big college party and let her go on a rampage. Sadly that's not at all what we get, and we do get isn't that great to me. But maybe if they ever do a remake they can snatch my idea here and run with it? I'm joking, please don't flood me with too many hateful emails.


The Conclusion
Yeah, this movie doesn't pack enough to get my motor running, but I can see why some of you love it. And I do know that a ton of you (or more than a ton if we are to be serious) out there do love this film and that's why it's getting a blu-ray release today. And this transfer is perfectly acceptable. Even if I'm not a big fan of the movie it's self, I do like the way the film looks. It's got nice textures and the lightening does come across very cool in this type of setting. So, while I don't care for the film, I do like the look of this disc. Which means you Vamp fans should be more than pleased.


The Rating (5/10)

Pet Sematary (1989)

One of THE creepiest movies of all-time!



Pet Sematary (1989)

Directed By: Mary Lambert



The Prologue
Pet Sematary (misspelled on purpose) was based off the horror book of the same name by horror writing legend, Stephen King. He even wrote the screenplay for the film, but the film was directed by none other than, Mary Lambert. I still remember to this day renting this movie on VHS back in the day and I remember it was very freaky and it just scared the hell out of me. I had actually never watched it again until I recently did so for an episode of Zombies DON'T Podcast. And I can say that it still packs the thrills and chills I remember. Plus, now I believe I can appreciate it even more seeing as how I'm older.



The Movie

The Creeds have just moved to a new house in the countryside. Their house is perfect, except for two things: the semi-trailers that roar past on the narrow road, and the mysterious cemetery in the woods behind the house. The Creed's neighbors are reluctant to talk about the cemetery, and for good reason too. What fallows is one of the creepiest and legit frightening films that I have ever seen. After seeing this movie, it's easy to see why this movie makes a lot top 10 lists for scariest films ever made.


Death is a very creepy subject matter in my book. And everyone has dealt with the loss of a pet, friend, or even a family member. This movie here deals with what someone would do to bring that person or thing back. And just what bad consequences could come from it. Louis Creed, our family man and doctor that this film mainly features, means well in what he does in this movie. But meaning well doesn't always work out for the best and in this film the results are terrible. You might think after disaster strikes more than once that our good doctor would have learned. But for your viewing pleasure, you might want to keep in mind that the actions of Creed is those of a guilt ridden and grieving man. Plus, logic in this film isn't the point.


Among the awesome plot, the film does feature some very good characters. Among those, we have a spirit with good intentions, a very nasty acting undead cat, and a little boy that goes from sweet to creepy about as soon as you could splat someone with a big truck...Yeah, we have those moments in this film too. But then again, this movie packs plenty of cool and skin crawling moments. And regardless of the age of the person watching, it seems this movie what whatever it takes to make you be entertained and feel uneasy. That's a GREAT combo!


Give credit to the director, Mary Lambert. Give credit to the writer, Stephen King. Or just the swell thing and divide it out evenly between the two. No matter which way you spread it, this film is awesome from top to bottom and it is the type of stuff we can appreciate and watch over and over again for years to come. It's hard to find legit horror films, and this one is about as legit as you can get. If you've never see it, you should SEE IT NOW!!!..Or as soon as you can. I don't want to sound pushy.



The Conclusion
I'd have a hard time picking which adapted Stephen King story is my favorite, but I would be inclined to toss this one here up near the top for sure. So, if you want to see a horror film that does bring the horror, you could do a lot worse than the Stephen King written, Pet Sematary.


The Rating (8/10) 

Monday, March 12, 2012

Breaking Glass’ Kinyarwanda Shines a Light on the Harsh Realities in Rwanda


 
 
March 7, 2012  - Philadelphia, PA — Breaking Glass Pictures is proud to announce the May 1 DVD release of Kinyarwanda, an in-depth look at the tragic genocidal reality of the Rwandan people. Nominated for three NAACP Image Awards, Kinyarwanda takes audiences through an emotional voyage of fear and forgiveness, love and hate, death and rebirth.
Alrick Brown made his directorial debut with Kinyarwanda, which follows six different storylines of people struggling through the Rwandan genocide.  Roger Ebert gave the film four stars, calling it “a powerful film.”  The Village Voice hailed it as being “filled with moments both charming and horrifying, sometimes all at once.”  
 
As Rwanda became a slaughterhouse, mosques became places of refuge where Muslims and Christians, Hutus and Tutsis came together to protect each other. Kinyarwanda is based on true accounts from survivors who took refuge at the Grand Mosque of Kigali and the Imams who opened their doors to give refuge to the Tutsi and to those Hutu who refused to participate in the killing.  The story interweaves different tales together, which form one grand narrative, providing the most complex and real depiction yet presented of life and human resilience during the genocide. With an amalgamation of characters, Kinyarwanda pays homage to many, using the voices of a few.

 
Following its world premiere at the Sundance Film Festival, Kinyarwanda has won numerous awards.  These accolades include World Cinema Award at AFI and Sundance, the Official Heart Award at Heartland Film Festival, and the Grand Price Sunny D-Cinema Award at the Skip City International D-Cinema Festival, along with a plethora of audience awards from multiple festivals.
 
The DVD will come packed with heart-warming special features, such as a cast and crew commentary, The Making of Kinyarwanda, a Kinyarwanda Comes Home featurette, galleries, the shooting script, and more. 
 

CHIKARA Podcast-A-Go-Go 307



This week on the ever-lovin' Go-Go, Gavin Loudspeaker gets you all caught up as Season 11 rolls on full force! We take a look back at our Season 11 "The Thirteenth Hat" with the complete tag team bout between 3.0 and the duo of Tim Donst & Jakob Hammermeier!

Subscribe to our YouTube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/user/CHIKARAoffice

Get "The Thirteenth Hat" on DVD here:
http://www.chikarapro.com/store.shtml

Check Out The UK Trailer For Rec 3: Genesis


Here is the UK trailer for Rec 3: Genesis, from director Paco Plaza.

It will be released in the fall. Advance reviews from the SXSW festival had been mixed, claiming it becomes "just another zombie movie".

Amer (2009) (Blu-ray Review)

It's weird. It's slow. But damn it, I like it.



Amer (2009)

Directed By: Hélène Cattet & Bruno Forzani



The Prologue

I like the majority of the giallo films I have seen. I also have a thing for weird films. So when someone brings my attention to a movie that is a mix of both, I naturally want to check it out. And thus this brings us to the film called, Amer. A film that has been getting a lot of praise for it's content, but a film that seems to be leaving some scratching their heads after seeing it. Now I can see what people might not like about this one, but I also see what people might like as well. And I think the positives stick out to me more so than the negatives.



The Movie

Three key moments, all of them sensual, define Ana's life. Her carnal search sways between reality and colored fantasies becoming more and more oppressive. A black laced hand prevents her from screaming. The wind lifts her dress and caresses her thighs. A razor blade brushes her skin, where will this chaotic and carnivorous journey leave her?...Basically, you have a weird giallo that is just as artsy as it is giallo. I imagine some folks will hate this movie. But just the same, I am sure a lot of people will love it for the very same reason the other people hate it.


OK, so in the movie, Amer, we fallow a women as she experiences three very traumatic things in her life. Or, maybe we should just say she experiences three very key moments. Either way, we are sticking with one character, Ana, and we kick things off when she's a small child and her grandfather has just died. This leads to her walking in on something that opens her eyes to a whole other part of life and it's done in a very fancy and cool looking in HD segment of the film that is well worth taking a gander at. Soon after shes a teen and interacting with other people. Soon after that, she's being chased around her home while someone is trying to kill her. You'll probably enjoy that part of the film best.


And it is in that part of the film that the film goes from just being artsy and kinda creepy to being more intense and action packed. The drama is built up and it really becomes your more traditional giallo film, just with a more modern take and an appearance. It's your typical killers with the typical look. THANKFULLY it's your typical gore and effects and not CGI ridden. But also (add another thankfully here), we do get a more current upgrade on the Italian genre, so you won't be bored at all. Well, you won't be bored if you didn't mind the first two segments. I didn't, but it's different strokes for different folks. And as we all know, I'm just weird.


Overall, when it comes to Amer for me, I liked it. I like the different take, the cool look, and the cool concepts. But I know that won't be the case for everyone, so only watch it if you like that stuff. I do think it would be worth seeing anyway, but I'd hate to say go watch it and then hear the complaints later. But for what it's worth, it does pack some creepy and bloody moments. And I'd say it's all well acted as well. So, if you like those weird and wacky foreign films, give this one a viewing.



The Conclusion

The movie is one of the more different offerings I have seen in a while. It stands out. But it doesn't stand out due to gore and shock, it stands out based on style. Outside some grain (and I think a lot of folks dig that) at the start of the movie, there isn't much anyone could complain about as far as how the blu-ray looks. With something this stylish, I'd say make it a point to see it in HD.


The Rating (8/10)    

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Zombies DON’T Podcast VII: The Funhouse, Cat In The Brain, and Pet Semetary


This week Zombies DON’T Podcast comes to you with special guest SHANNON RULLO who has a new horror themed cookbook in the works called, CANNIBAL KITCHEN! She along with Chuck and Goob will go over a wide topic of things, especially The Funhouse, Cat in the Brain, and Pet Sematary!

Be sure to look for Shannon’s book here
http://twinstaronline.com/tag/cannibal-kitchen/


Saturday, March 10, 2012

The Funhouse (1981)

I loved the last part of it



The Funhouse (1981)

Directed By: Tobe Hooper



The Prologue

Being such a fan of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre as I am, I was looking forward to taking a look at something Tobe Hooper has done that doesn't include Leatherface. And here we have, The Funhouse! A film that came in between Salem's Lot and Poltergeist. It seems to have a very large fallowing of it's own among horror fans and I do believe I could see why, even with me realizing it's not anywhere near perfect. Still, there is just something cool about it and we shall do our best to get into all of that here as we review 1981's The Funhouse!


The Movie
Directed by Tobe Hooper (horror legend), this non-stop thrill ride of frights and chills follows a group of four fun-loving teenagers who decide to spend the night in a traveling carnival's funhouse. When a deformed man wearing a Frankenstein mask begins brutally murdering the friends, they find themselves in a desperate struggle for survival. While I don't think I'd toss it on the same level with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I would say that you can tell it's the same director at times.


One of the things I picked up really quick with this one, outside of the Halloween and Psycho tributes at the start, is the vibe this movie gives off. As slow as it can be at times to really get cooking, it just feels really interesting and it looks really awesome as well. Atmosphere can go a long way in horror. It can set your film's table and be a full course meal at times. And coming from the man who made such a frighting film in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, that people swear is gory when it isn't, shows he knows a thing or three about atmosphere and setting a tone. In Funhouse, the tone is set.


So we got a great look, we have a great cast of characters/villains, and I can't even tell you how eerie one of these cats look in his Frankenstein mask, much less what he looks like when it comes off. If you've not seen the film, I won't spoil it, but it's very cool and very awesome. As a matter of fact everything you need in a horror film is here and main issue in the film gets set, but I'll be damn if the movie just doesn't really take it's sweet time getting things rolling on a high level. If the film does have one fault, it's that I think it makes you wait a little too long before things get from just cool looking to actually good. So if you can hold on til then you won't be disappointed.


It's when the film hits it's one hour point and proceeds into it's last thirty minutes that the movie brings some of the most interesting and spooky looking horror cinema you will find. I loved it and enjoyed it very much. I kinda wish the rest of the film was like this, but I guess without the slow build you wouldn't appreciate the last part as much as you do. It's dramatic, it's scary, and it's well acted. And it packs an ending I find very fitting for what the film brings. Overall, you have a eerie, fun, and campy film that I'm sure will bring horror enjoyment to whoever watches it.



The Conclusion

1981 proves again to be one of the most kick-ass years of horror with Funhouse. It's a little slow, but I think you will all find it mostly fun and enjoyable, especially the last portion of it. The Universal DVD, which I have here, is as bare bones as it comes. If you're willing to pay more I recommend the UK based Arrow and their blu-ray. Most are region free and if you dig this movie it's a must own.


The Rating (7.5/10)    

Friday, March 9, 2012

The Hills Have Eyes (1977) (Blu-ray Review)

Since we are on the subject of giving everything a blu-ray release!



The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

Directed By: Wes Craven (A Nightmare on Elm Street)
Where to get it: IMAGE 




The Prologue
While some results on the transfers may be a mixed bag, I think IMAGE has gathered a nice collection of films for it's Midnight Madness Series. Wes Craven's The Hills Have Eyes is one of those great titles that it now has under it's umbrella. And as a result of now having this film, they released both a DVD and Blu-ray disc for the infamous 1977 film. And being a movie collector that I am, I am all for different versions of the classic. It at least adds for some variety in the collection. So, before we worry much about the blu-ray it's self, let's take a peek at the actual film.


The Movie
The Carters are an all-American family on their way to California when their car breaks down far from civilization in the remote southwestern desert. But they are not alone. Watching from the hills is a very different kind of clan, a family of marauding inbred cannibals with an unspeakable taste for human flesh and monstrous brutality. In the nightmare that follows, what depravities must this wholesome family endure to survive? And in a primal wasteland ruled by lust and rage, who will become the most shocking savages of all?


The Hills Have Eyes is one of those movies that just seems to have an uneasy feel and look to it. While nowhere near the level of gore the remake would have, there are things here that can send a bit of a chill down your spine. While I'm sure Michael Berryman is probably a nice guy, and the poor guy can't help how he looks, he's made a career off being spooky and this being back in 1977 the spooky is at it's height. He's here in the role of Pluto of course, and if he's not enough for you the whole group he runs with, sporting names as Papa Jupiter, Mercury, and so on and so forth, are all creepy as well. While they almost come across as more backwoods hick-ish than animal-like being that live in middle of nowhere, they still keep some creepy credit, however I'd be more than willing to bet it was way more so back in the day than it is now.


The movie also can at times, for whatever reason, come across somewhat comedic when I'm pretty sure that was soo not what they were going for. The performance of the character Bobby (the little Bob, not the big one) is something to see, and not necessarily in a good way. Bob (not that there is anything wrong with it if he was) comes across kinda feminine like? I'm not so sure that was as much acting as that was just the actor shining from the characters, but in this setting he comes across as a major wuss, even when he's trying to play the brave card. I also don't get why early in the film when something happens (won't spoil it) the character didn't just tell someone?? I mean I guess I could see why they'd want to build that up, but it's not like they could leave anyway so why not kick the fear factor into the plot sooner? I guess I'm just saying, while I don't hate the guy at all, Bobby just doesn't do much for me in this film, but he doesn't really bring it down or anything.


Also if you are looking for a strong character, and no Doug doesn't get my vote in that department, you have to pick out the family dog, Beast. Beast is not only a bad ass in this film, he's also smart. I dare say he's smarter than the rest of the characters and that includes our crazy desert living villains. He sticks and moves, he sneaks up on people, he goes for the areas that hurt the most, and he's smart enough to pick up communication devices and take them to the proper people. Basically, he's a smart dog and as noted before in this little rant of mine, smarter than the Carters, smarter than Doug, and smarter than our bad guys. I guess this alone would justify why Beast has a flashback in the sequel right? So if you want someone to root for and get behind while watching these tragic events unfold, root for The Beast!


Also while brutal and hard to watch at times for 1977, the story of The Hills Have Eyes doesn't pack as much of a punch to a person watching for the first time in 2011. It takes some time for things to get set up and since the movie isn't no more than normal in running time by the time the bomb goes off (literally) and the action kicks in there's not much time left. While it's still interesting and unlike most horror films you can't pinpoint who you think will live or who will die, it's just kind of on autopilot from some scenes to the next. I'd have liked a little more blood and a little more emotion from people without the emotion coming across a little humorous. Brenda's freaking out is a little much, Bobby's is a bit of a laugh, and the rest are just kind of there besides Doug and Lynn. But what more could you expect from the lady who would later go on to be in E.T.?? Summing things up, it's worth a watch but near as exciting or brutal as you might think.



The Conclusion
The film is a little dated, but still historic in the world of horror. Maybe some of what made it shocking back in '77 is a little tame today, but it's still one of those films you just need to have in your collection. Yeah, the transfer isn't on part with what many wanted. But if that bothers you, just get the standard DVD. Both come packed with some cool special features that are very enjoyable.


The Rating (6.5/10)       

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Cannibal Kitchen: Silent House

"Real fear in real time"


I've come to the conclusion that I have awful luck at advanced screenings. I'm still having nightmares from the guy who rambled about Cabin Fever 2 during "The Innkeepers", and while viewing "Silent House" this past Monday, I'm convinced the guy behind me was making a party sub and talking to his drug dealer on the phone. Regardless, kudos to AMC for putting said degenerate in line. I only had some Watermelon Sour Patch Kids left and I think the most I could have done was pour sugar in his eye. 



I first got wind of the original "Silent House" some time early 2011. I was instantly intrigued by the films origins, Uruguay, as well as, the fact that it was rumored to be filmed entirely in one shot with a $6,000 budget. I wouldn't rate Uruguay as the horror film capital of the world, so it was kind of interesting to hear of a film coming from that area. On top of that, the director/partial writer, Gustavo Hernandez, has never done a film to my knowledge, but instead has only dabbled with some TV series. Regardless, I was game, and I quickly got my hands on a copy.





The original Silent House is far from perfect. Nonetheless, it's an interesting film with good parts. All of the dialogue is in Spanish, and I do believe there is a lot in this film that gets lost in translation. That in itself does leave holes in the story that do get annoying for the viewer at times. Regardless, I think Florencia Colucci does a great job at the lead. She plays a terrified person at the edge of insanity very well. I personally loved the cut and dry nature of this film. It was to the point, dark, no unnecessary big Hollywood sparkle, and consists of a "High Tension"-Esq twist that I didn't see coming until close to the final frame. I'm not going to lie, initially I had a hard time with the shaky camera work, and the fact that this film is not marketed as a "found footage" movie. However, I quickly got over it as I got sucked into the story and the well-done suspense. Yes this movie does unfold like a play, but I really do have a hard time believing the director is being completely honest when he says Silent House was filmed in one continuous take. Especially when he follows it up by saying the movie was filmed in 4-5 days; it credits an editor at the end, and has another 5 minutes of footage after the credits roll. As with most decent made foreign horror films, of course there was someone quick to jump on an American remake. These two directors would be husband and wife team, Chris Kentis and Laura Lau, and I have to say; they didn't do a half bad job.



The American "Silent House", is not a bad remake. I do however feel it's a semi different film. Yes it adapts the basic story line of the original, but it really glitzes it up and alters the twist to make the film a bit more PC. In hindsight, I guess that's usually what directors do with remakes of foreign films when they feel it may be to "racy" for the mass American consumption. Maybe I'm a sick individual, but I personally preferred the darkness of twist in the original. I also believe altering the twist in the remake and not changing some of the other parts of the film to match really left gaps that aren't easy to ignore. On a much happier note, again this film had a very strong lead woman character. I don't know where Elizabeth Olsen got her acting capabilities in that gene pool, but she killed it. (Semi pun intended). Her ability to portray emotion and throw herself into a roll is applaudable, and I really hope to start seeing her in more films. 





Wow, my fingers hurt. I really think this may be one of the longest reviews I've ever written. I guess it's undeniable that Silent House is a film that will make you have a lot to say afterwards. Even though I preferred the original, I think both of these films are worthy of watching, and I'd love to hear what you all think of them. Silent House officially drops tomorrow, Friday March 9th, and I know you can get your hands on a copy of the original through Netflix. Until then, let's keep the Spanish Vs. American movie battle going but this time in a flavor inspired food war. Pick your poison.







La Casa Enchilada
I don't think I've ever met anyone who didn't like enchiladas in one way or another. This is a Spanish inspired enchilada that consists of many of the flavors and ingredients found in traditional Spanish cuisine. The real truth, you may not even get to the enchilada part once you taste this red pepper sauce. I pretty much wanted to dip everything in my kitchen, including the toaster, into the pot.



Ingredients:
- 5 Small Flour Tortillas
- 2 Cups Apple Juice
- 1 Chorizo Sausage, cut in half
- 1 Package Pre-made BBQ Pulled Chicken
- 2 Cups Chopped Kale
- 1/4 Cup Vidalia  Onion, Diced
- 3 Garlic Cloves, Crushed and diced
- 1 Tablespoon Olive oil
- 2 Cinnamon Sticks
- Manchengo cheese, grated




Directions:
Pre-heat oven to 400F. In a medium sauce pan over high heat bring apple cider with cinnamon sticks to a boil. Add cut chorizo sausages, and then reduce to low heat and allow to simmer for 10 minutes. In the meantime, in a medium sized saucepan over medium heat, heat up olive oil. Add garlic and onions, and saute for 4 minutes. Next, add Kale, stir to combine, and allow to cook covered until kale has wilted; 3-5 minutes. Remove the kale mixture and set aside. Then, remove the chorizo from the saucepan and discard the apple cider mixture. With the back of a fork, break up the chorizo.








To assemble the enchiladas, first heat up tortillas to make them more pliable. I've found the best way to do this is heating up some olive oil in a skillet and then slightly frying the tortillas one by one. Next, place a small layer of chorizo, followed by a thin layer of pre-made pulled chicken, and top off with some of the kale mixture. Wrap the tortilla's tightly and place them in a rectangular baking dish that has a thin layer of sauce on the bottom (recipe to follow). Make sure to lay the folded side down.






Place each packed tortilla side by side tightly in the baking dish. Top off with a generous amount of sauce, and a little bit of grated cheese. Reserve the remainder of the sauce. Bake for 25-30 minutes or until edges of tortillas are slightly golden brown. Top off with a little extra sauce and serve warm.




Racy Red Pepper Sauce Ingredients:
- 2 (12 Ounce) Jars Roasted Red Pepper
- 1 Serrano Pepper, Chopped
- 1 Medium sized Plum Tomato
- 1/4 Cup Spanish Olives
- 1/4 Cup Vidalia Onion, chopped
- 1 Tablespoon Fresh Cilantro
- 1 Tablespoon Minced Garlic
- 1 Tablespoon White Vinegar
- 1 Teaspoon Smoked Paprika
- 1/2 Teaspoon Cumin
- 1/2 Teaspoon Salt
- 1/4 Teaspoon Black Pepper








Directions:
In a large saucepan over medium heat, add all ingredients and bring the mixture to a boil. Reduce to low heat, cover, and allow to simmer for 30 minutes. With an immersion blender, or by transferring the mixture to a blender, mix until the texture is smooth. Use sauce as directed in above directions.





Serves 2-5


Americana Enchiladas
American cuisine is such a melting pot of ingredients, ideas, and flavors from around the world. The same thing can be said for American horror films. This is my version of an American and Spanish fusion enchilada dish. You have the under tones of Spanish flair, remade with some classic (and probably not good for you) American staples.




Ingredients:
- 5 Small Flour Tortillas
- 2 Generous Cups Tater tots
- 1 (6 Ounce) Can French Fried Onions
- 1 (15 ounce) Can White beans
- 1 Teaspoon Minced Garlic
- 1/2 Teaspoon Smoked Paprika
- Cheddar Jack Cheese, Grated.


Directions:
Cook tater tots according to manufacture instructions, but taking them out slightly early. In the meantime, empty half the can of beans into a bowl. With a fork or a potato masher, slightly mash up the beans. You want the texture to be semi paste like with some chunks of beans still intact. Add the minced garlic, and paprika to the beans and mix to combine. Once the tater tots have cooked, transfer them to a bowl, and with the back of a fork slightly mash the tater tots. You want them broken apart, but not totally smooth. Chunks are ok.






To assemble the enchiladas, first heat up tortillas to make them more pliable. You can use the same method I stated above, or pop them in the microwave to save time. Next, place a small layer of beans, followed by a thin layer of tater tots, and top off with some french fried onions. Wrap the tortilla's tightly and place them in a rectangular baking dish that has a thin layer of sauce on the bottom (recipe to follow). Make sure to lay the folded side down.



Place each packed tortilla side by side tightly in the baking dish. Top off with remainder of sauce, and a little bit of cheese. Bake for 25-30 minutes or until edges of tortillas are slightly golden brown.



Sarah's Salsa Verde
- 8 Tomatillos, make sure to buy the smaller ones as they are less bitter
- 1/2 Vidalia Onion, Chopped
- 2 Serrano Peppers, Stems cut off
- Juice from 1/2 Lime
- 1/2 Cup Cilantro
- 1/4 Cup Avocado
- 3 Cloves Garlic
- 1 Teaspoon Chicken Bouillon granulas
- 1/2 Teaspoon Cumin
- 1/2 Teaspoon Mexican Oregano








Directions:
Remove husks from the tomatillos. In a large sauce pan over high heat, boil water. Add tomatillos, 1/4 of the onion, peppers, and garlic. Allow to boil until tomatillos darken, turning an "army green" shade. Empty water and transfer the tomatillo mixture to a blender.






Next, add all other remaining ingredients to the blender. Blend until pureed. Use sauce as directed in above directions.

        



Serves 2-5


**Side Note**
Feel free to get creative with this recipe, as enchiladas are very versatile. Even feel free to intermix the recipes. I made some of the "Americana Enchiladas" with the "Racy Red Pepper Sauce" and even threw some of the kale mixture in and it was awesome. Also, if you want to make the "Sarah's Salsa Verde" vegan just omit the chicken bouillon granules and substitute 1/2 teaspoon Sea Salt. Serrano peppers do have a little bit of a kick to them, if you prefer something not to spicy I recommend using jalapenos with the seeds removed, and also using only 1 pepper in the "Sarah's Salsa Verde".






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